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#1 Dashboard Doris ?

Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 11:49 pm
by pre65
Here is a little poem about Sat nav. :wink:

I have a little Satnav
I've had it all my life
It does more than the normal one
My Satnav is my wife

It gives me full instructions
On exactly how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour" it says
"And you're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
It lists those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives it's advice

It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort

Ah well you see it cleans the house
Makes sure I'm properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!

:lol: :lol:

#2

Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 11:59 pm
by The Stratmangler
Hmmm.
Reminds me a bit of the lyrics to a song.
I was blue and lonely, I couldn't sleep a wink
And I could only get unconscious if I'd had to much to drink
There was somehow, something wrong somewhere
And each day seemed grey and dead
The seeds of desperation were growing in my head

I needed inspiration, a brand new start in life
Somewhere to place affection, but I didn't want a wife
And then by lucky chance I saw in a special magazine
An ad that was unusual, the like I'd never seen
"Experience something different with our new imported toy
She's loving, warm, inflatible and a guarantee of joy."

She came all wrapped in cardboard, all pink and shrivelled down
A breath of air was all she needed to make her lose that frown
I took her to the bedroom and pumped her with some life
And later in a moment that girl became my wife
And so I sit her in the corner and sometimes stroke her hair
And when I'm feeling naughty I blow her up with air

She's cuddly and she's bouncy, she's like a rubber ball
I bounce her in the kitchen and I bounce her in the hall
And now my life is different since Sally came my way
I wake up in the morning and have her on a tray
She's everything they say she was and I wear a permanent grin
And I only have to worry in case my girl wears thin

#3

Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:30 am
by ed
well, somebody had to do it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78mJYxMk7sE