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A little light humour
- Mike H
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#1741 Re: A little light humour
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
- Paul Barker
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#1742 Re: A little light humour
its how im keeping going!pre65 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:54 amNice one Paul, good to see your sense of humour is intact.Paul Barker wrote: ↑Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:47 am I had the finger up the bum examination by my pretty Thai GP. She said its a very personal examination that sometimes results in an erection so don't be embarrassed if that happens.
I told her I was very nervous and there was no chance at all of that happening, and she said "No not you, ME!"
"Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe." – Albert Einstein
- Paul Barker
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#1743 Re: A little light humour
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
"Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe." – Albert Einstein
- Mike H
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#1744 Re: A little light humour
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
- Mike H
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#1745 Re: A little light humour
From Renault forums –
I've been to the doctor and was diagnosed with low blood pressure.
He wrote me a prescription for two sets of Ikea self-assembly wardrobes
I've been to the doctor and was diagnosed with low blood pressure.
He wrote me a prescription for two sets of Ikea self-assembly wardrobes
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
- shane
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#1746 Re: A little light humour
Seen on Twitter:
"If you think one person can't change the world, you've never eaten a half-cooked bat."
"If you think one person can't change the world, you've never eaten a half-cooked bat."
The world looks so different after learning science. For example, trees are made of air, primarily. When they are burned, they go back to air, and in their flaming heat is released the flaming heat of the Sun which was bound in to convert air into tree.
- Dave the bass
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#1747 Re: A little light humour
"The fat bourgeois and his doppelganger"
- IslandPink
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- Mike H
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#1751 Re: A little light humour
All good.
Something slightly different. From Soviet Steeds forum
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should
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Something slightly different. From Soviet Steeds forum
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should
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"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
- pre65
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#1752 Re: A little light humour
A supercharged transverse V8 ?
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Edmund Burke
G-Popz THE easy listening connoisseur. (Philip)
Edmund Burke
G-Popz THE easy listening connoisseur. (Philip)
- andrew Ivimey
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#1753 Re: A little light humour
Still trying...
Might work.... let's see.
Might work.... let's see.
Philosophers have only interpreted the world - the point, however, is to change it. No it isn't ... maybe we should leave it alone for a while.
- Mike H
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#1754 Re: A little light humour
Yep. A different view – note no sidestand, it basically can't lean over
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"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
- IslandPink
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#1755 Re: A little light humour
Nick's looking a bit rough - you haven't got the virus, have you ?
"Once you find out ... the Circumstances ; then you can go out"