A little light humour

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IslandPink
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#1576 Re: A little light humour

Post by IslandPink »

Two Ronnies stuff still tickles me , this one from a 1972 episode.
Ronnie Corbett in the armchair :
"... and it was at the party that I met my first love
Mrs. Washburn
(pause)
... she was a widow.
Her husband had driven the last tram out of Lime St. station ..
..and was never seen again"
"..anyway, so I came across her at this party and we got talking.
It turned out we had one interesting thing in common -
..we were both drunk "
"Once you find out ... the Circumstances ; then you can go out"
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jack
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#1577 Re: A little light humour

Post by jack »

Dave the bass wrote: Sat Dec 15, 2018 2:37 pm The Roxanne gag is brill (IMO).
Little known fact: The otter slide of Wok San was Peanuts. Not a great song...
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Mike H
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#1578 Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H »

All good. :thumbleft:
 
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
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jack
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#1579 Re: A little light humour

Post by jack »

Idiot.jpg
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Irene Idler
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#1580 Re: A little light humour

Post by Irene Idler »

Found on Facebook Marketplace just now. I just knew you'd all be interested in this amazing bargain. :D

Image
"Hey, you know the rules, baby. If you wanna PLAY funky, you gotta SMELL funky." -- Mike Troutman
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Mike H
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#1581 Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H »

I'll have six! :D

Who needs hearing anyway :D
 
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
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Mike H
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#1582 Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H »

Just seen on another forum:

"Car started when threatened with hammer."

Image
 
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
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Mike H
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#1583 Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H »

Bloke goes to the off licence on his bicycle to buy a bottle of Vodka. He puts the bottle in the basket on the front of the bike, then he thinks "hang on, that doesn't look very safe, what if I fall off the bike? The bottle will get broken." So he drinks the bottle. The whole lot. And he was right, he fell off seven times on the way back home
 
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
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Mike H
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#1584 Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H »

Two-diets.jpg
 
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
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Mike H
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#1585 Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H »

(1) Students at the University of Bristol have been offered squares of bubble wrap to help relieve stress. The instructions in each pack say to pop three cells every 4 - 6 hours.

4 - 6 hours? I'm sure I could do the lot in a few minutes... :shock:

(2) Chinese tourists visiting Scotland have been complaining that they cannot buy anything that does not have "Made in China" on it.

(These are real news items! :shock: )
 
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
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Mike H
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#1586 Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H »

Children-sold.jpg
 
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
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Mike H
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#1587 Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H »

telling-a-drunk-woman.jpg
 
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
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Mike H
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#1588 Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H »

 
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
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IslandPink
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#1589 Re: A little light humour

Post by IslandPink »

The last one's priceless, with the guy trying to force the front wheel down.
"Once you find out ... the Circumstances ; then you can go out"
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jack
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#1590 Re: A little light humour

Post by jack »

NZ government 404 page....

https://www.govt.nz/gghhh

(A lot of world maps, including ones sold by IKEA, miss NZ completely)
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