#1 Forgiveness
Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 8:24 am
This follows I got a new job, so I put it here, but it is too important to get lost inside I got a new job.
It's not a religious thing, though for me it is. It's a human fact. Unforgiveness harms the one who doesn't forgive the most.
Long story short, I lost my career in nhs because a colleague lied about me. I was exonerated by two senior forensic psychiatrists. But the woman was not reprimanded, and remained my direct supervisor if I took up the option offered me to return to my same post. So a forensic expert determines she has lied, I am exonerated and nothing happens to change anything except I don't loose my job and career. Obviously I can't put myself back into danger. So I have only one direction to go, and that is out. The union and the personnel departments and the management all wanted me out. I am proved innocent but not wanted. I go see a private solicitor which I pay for, about "unfair dismissal". " you have a case but it is not worth fighting, we won't win, walk away and change your career!"
By now I am flat on my face on the floor, it was the final knock out blow, I give up the fight, loose my career and to get through the financial impact I sell a house I had developed. I paid £24k for an uninhabitable dump with no gas electricity water or drainage. Fully restore it and sell it after 2 years work for £73k. I had to use all that profit to survive.
So anyway would you find it hard to forgive that lady who did that to you? Would you feel bitter? Would you feel bitter about the union taking "their side" not yours? How would you feel about your colleagues who fold and give up before you do?sometimes easier to let one go and carry on as if nothing happened?
I picked up the pieces reskilled and now have all the skills I need to get back where I was in 2002 when I was a very good nurse.
But something was wrong. I couldn't get employed. I kept shifting and turning adaptIng to change but never saw the possibility of another job.
I always knew about the harm unforgiveness does to us. But the state of our deep heartfelt feelings in cases like this are even hidden from us at times. Letting go of the ill feeling and buttress is not a once and for all moment. It is tough to do and tough to complete.
But a week , no fortnight, before I got this job. My first proper job since that bomb exploded in my life. A man reminded me about the fact as many see that the victim of the unforgiving heart is the self. It hurts you the most. Somehow I had forgotten and I searched myself to see if there was still a problem with reference to this lady. Now I am not saying I want to meet her and b Besty mates, she is at best a psychopath and best avoided for the rest of my life. But I still can forgive her within my life, while keeping myself a safe distance from her for the rest of my life.
So I did this, in my heart, did my very best to complete the process of forgiveness. Made sure I was not harbouring any remaining embers of hatred towards her. We have no idea if we have achieved this. But what matters is we try. We only have are consciousness to work with, the harm is deeper than that, but when it surfaces we have to correct it. Don't let it take over our conscious life.
So, muddling alongside as normal, get a phone call from an agency I did much work for since those days. "A gas job (cards in, paye" has come up for someone living in Scarborough, and you are our best candidate, are you interested" "YES"
Go for interview offered job same day, start following Monday (two days now).
Ok so serendipity conclusion. I loose a good paye job over lies of a woman. I find it very very very hard to let go of the bitterness. But I do my best at the time. Each time. But to be honest I know in my heart I have failed.. I am reminded one day of the harm this bitterness does the host. I double check I am totally forgiving towards this person. Next week this job lands in my lap.
It's not a religious thing, though for me it is. It's a human fact. Unforgiveness harms the one who doesn't forgive the most.
Long story short, I lost my career in nhs because a colleague lied about me. I was exonerated by two senior forensic psychiatrists. But the woman was not reprimanded, and remained my direct supervisor if I took up the option offered me to return to my same post. So a forensic expert determines she has lied, I am exonerated and nothing happens to change anything except I don't loose my job and career. Obviously I can't put myself back into danger. So I have only one direction to go, and that is out. The union and the personnel departments and the management all wanted me out. I am proved innocent but not wanted. I go see a private solicitor which I pay for, about "unfair dismissal". " you have a case but it is not worth fighting, we won't win, walk away and change your career!"
By now I am flat on my face on the floor, it was the final knock out blow, I give up the fight, loose my career and to get through the financial impact I sell a house I had developed. I paid £24k for an uninhabitable dump with no gas electricity water or drainage. Fully restore it and sell it after 2 years work for £73k. I had to use all that profit to survive.
So anyway would you find it hard to forgive that lady who did that to you? Would you feel bitter? Would you feel bitter about the union taking "their side" not yours? How would you feel about your colleagues who fold and give up before you do?sometimes easier to let one go and carry on as if nothing happened?
I picked up the pieces reskilled and now have all the skills I need to get back where I was in 2002 when I was a very good nurse.
But something was wrong. I couldn't get employed. I kept shifting and turning adaptIng to change but never saw the possibility of another job.
I always knew about the harm unforgiveness does to us. But the state of our deep heartfelt feelings in cases like this are even hidden from us at times. Letting go of the ill feeling and buttress is not a once and for all moment. It is tough to do and tough to complete.
But a week , no fortnight, before I got this job. My first proper job since that bomb exploded in my life. A man reminded me about the fact as many see that the victim of the unforgiving heart is the self. It hurts you the most. Somehow I had forgotten and I searched myself to see if there was still a problem with reference to this lady. Now I am not saying I want to meet her and b Besty mates, she is at best a psychopath and best avoided for the rest of my life. But I still can forgive her within my life, while keeping myself a safe distance from her for the rest of my life.
So I did this, in my heart, did my very best to complete the process of forgiveness. Made sure I was not harbouring any remaining embers of hatred towards her. We have no idea if we have achieved this. But what matters is we try. We only have are consciousness to work with, the harm is deeper than that, but when it surfaces we have to correct it. Don't let it take over our conscious life.
So, muddling alongside as normal, get a phone call from an agency I did much work for since those days. "A gas job (cards in, paye" has come up for someone living in Scarborough, and you are our best candidate, are you interested" "YES"
Go for interview offered job same day, start following Monday (two days now).
Ok so serendipity conclusion. I loose a good paye job over lies of a woman. I find it very very very hard to let go of the bitterness. But I do my best at the time. Each time. But to be honest I know in my heart I have failed.. I am reminded one day of the harm this bitterness does the host. I double check I am totally forgiving towards this person. Next week this job lands in my lap.