A little light humour

A place for the funny stuff
User avatar
IslandPink
Oooo, Roberts Radio's sound nice
Posts: 7929
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 7:01 pm
Location: Denbigh, N.Wales

Re: A little light humour

Post by IslandPink » Sat Dec 15, 2018 3:40 pm

Two Ronnies stuff still tickles me , this one from a 1972 episode.
Ronnie Corbett in the armchair :
"... and it was at the party that I met my first love
Mrs. Washburn
(pause)
... she was a widow.
Her husband had driven the last tram out of Lime St. station ..
..and was never seen again"
"..anyway, so I came across her at this party and we got talking.
It turned out we had one interesting thing in common -
..we were both drunk "
"Peridots and periwinkle, blue medallions Gilded galleons spilled across the ocean floor" ( Mitchell )

User avatar
jack
Social outcast
Posts: 3706
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:58 pm
Location: ɐılɐɹʇsnɐ oʇ ƃuıʌoɯ ƃuıɹǝpısuoɔ
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by jack » Sat Dec 15, 2018 5:51 pm

Dave the bass wrote:
Sat Dec 15, 2018 2:37 pm
The Roxanne gag is brill (IMO).
Little known fact: The otter slide of Wok San was Peanuts. Not a great song...
Vivitur ingenio, caetera mortis erunt

User avatar
Mike H
Amstrad Tower of Power
Posts: 18759
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:38 pm
Location: The Fens
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Sun Dec 16, 2018 9:24 pm

All good. :thumbleft:
 
"Entrenched convictions cannot be changed by facts." – Dick Francis

User avatar
jack
Social outcast
Posts: 3706
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:58 pm
Location: ɐılɐɹʇsnɐ oʇ ƃuıʌoɯ ƃuıɹǝpısuoɔ
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by jack » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:45 pm

Idiot.jpg
Vivitur ingenio, caetera mortis erunt

User avatar
Irene Idler
User
Posts: 125
Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2016 1:12 pm
Location: Chesterfield

Re: A little light humour

Post by Irene Idler » Wed Dec 19, 2018 4:33 pm

Found on Facebook Marketplace just now. I just knew you'd all be interested in this amazing bargain. :D

Image
"Hey, you know the rules, baby. If you wanna PLAY funky, you gotta SMELL funky." -- Mike Troutman

User avatar
Mike H
Amstrad Tower of Power
Posts: 18759
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:38 pm
Location: The Fens
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Wed Dec 19, 2018 8:53 pm

I'll have six! :D

Who needs hearing anyway :D
 
"Entrenched convictions cannot be changed by facts." – Dick Francis

User avatar
Mike H
Amstrad Tower of Power
Posts: 18759
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:38 pm
Location: The Fens
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:00 pm

Just seen on another forum:

"Car started when threatened with hammer."

Image
 
"Entrenched convictions cannot be changed by facts." – Dick Francis

User avatar
Mike H
Amstrad Tower of Power
Posts: 18759
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:38 pm
Location: The Fens
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:27 pm

Bloke goes to the off licence on his bicycle to buy a bottle of Vodka. He puts the bottle in the basket on the front of the bike, then he thinks "hang on, that doesn't look very safe, what if I fall off the bike? The bottle will get broken." So he drinks the bottle. The whole lot. And he was right, he fell off seven times on the way back home
 
"Entrenched convictions cannot be changed by facts." – Dick Francis

User avatar
Mike H
Amstrad Tower of Power
Posts: 18759
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:38 pm
Location: The Fens
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:57 pm

Two-diets.jpg
 
"Entrenched convictions cannot be changed by facts." – Dick Francis

User avatar
Mike H
Amstrad Tower of Power
Posts: 18759
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:38 pm
Location: The Fens
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:53 pm

(1) Students at the University of Bristol have been offered squares of bubble wrap to help relieve stress. The instructions in each pack say to pop three cells every 4 - 6 hours.

4 - 6 hours? I'm sure I could do the lot in a few minutes... :shock:

(2) Chinese tourists visiting Scotland have been complaining that they cannot buy anything that does not have "Made in China" on it.

(These are real news items! :shock: )
 
"Entrenched convictions cannot be changed by facts." – Dick Francis

User avatar
Mike H
Amstrad Tower of Power
Posts: 18759
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:38 pm
Location: The Fens
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Sat Jan 26, 2019 5:44 pm

Children-sold.jpg
 
"Entrenched convictions cannot be changed by facts." – Dick Francis

User avatar
Mike H
Amstrad Tower of Power
Posts: 18759
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:38 pm
Location: The Fens
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Tue Feb 05, 2019 2:17 pm

telling-a-drunk-woman.jpg
 
"Entrenched convictions cannot be changed by facts." – Dick Francis

User avatar
Mike H
Amstrad Tower of Power
Posts: 18759
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:38 pm
Location: The Fens
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Sat Feb 09, 2019 4:47 pm

 
"Entrenched convictions cannot be changed by facts." – Dick Francis

User avatar
IslandPink
Oooo, Roberts Radio's sound nice
Posts: 7929
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 7:01 pm
Location: Denbigh, N.Wales

Re: A little light humour

Post by IslandPink » Sat Feb 09, 2019 6:19 pm

The last one's priceless, with the guy trying to force the front wheel down.
"Peridots and periwinkle, blue medallions Gilded galleons spilled across the ocean floor" ( Mitchell )

User avatar
jack
Social outcast
Posts: 3706
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:58 pm
Location: ɐılɐɹʇsnɐ oʇ ƃuıʌoɯ ƃuıɹǝpısuoɔ
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by jack » Sat Feb 09, 2019 8:36 pm

NZ government 404 page....

https://www.govt.nz/gghhh

(A lot of world maps, including ones sold by IKEA, miss NZ completely)
Vivitur ingenio, caetera mortis erunt

Post Reply