Search found 7018 matches

by Paul Barker
Sun Mar 29, 2020 12:06 pm
Forum: Jokes
Topic: A little light humour
Replies: 1743
Views: 290661

Re: A little light humour

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I d...
by Paul Barker
Sun Mar 29, 2020 11:59 am
Forum: Jokes
Topic: A little light humour
Replies: 1743
Views: 290661

Re: A little light humour

I had the finger up the bum examination by my pretty Thai GP. She said its a very personal examination that sometimes results in an erection so don't be embarrassed if that happens. I told her I was very nervous and there was no chance at all of that happening, and she said "No not you, ME!" Nice o...
by Paul Barker
Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:47 am
Forum: Jokes
Topic: A little light humour
Replies: 1743
Views: 290661

Re: A little light humour

I had the finger up the bum examination by my pretty Thai GP. She said its a very personal examination that sometimes results in an erection so don't be embarrassed if that happens.

I told her I was veery nervous and there was no chance at all of that happening, and she said "No not you, ME!"
by Paul Barker
Tue Mar 24, 2020 6:45 pm
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

News Update. A Dr rang. After bed rest I can count to 20 before I have to inhale and the rule atm is if you can’t count to 10 you go into hospital. My breathing has improved since I went to bed. The Dr thinks that for the time I’ve had it I should turn the corner, but call back if can’t get to ten....
by Paul Barker
Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:20 pm
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

News Update. A Dr rang. After bed rest I can count to 20 before I have to inhale and the rule atm is if you can’t count to 10 you go into hospital. My breathing has improved since I went to bed. The Dr thinks that for the time I’ve had it I should turn the corner, but call back if can’t get to ten....
by Paul Barker
Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:15 pm
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

News Update. A Dr rang. After bed rest I can count to 20 before I have to inhale and the rule atm is if you can’t count to 10 you go into hospital. My breathing has improved since I went to bed. The Dr thinks that for the time I’ve had it I should turn the corner, but call back if can’t get to ten. ...
by Paul Barker
Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:21 am
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

All things being equal, am going to my blood donation session tomorrow. NHS are desperate for more blood donors as their stock levels are falling as fewer are donating. If you are fit & well and have been a donor in the past, please book an appointment ASAP - see https://www.blood.co.uk/ If you've ...
by Paul Barker
Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:16 am
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

Not yet but it’s a step change I’ll need it. Atm no longer talking just breathing as I need all the breath I can get and talking brings me down too far for too long, yet to recover from talking on phone yesterday evening. Paul, as you and I know, you need to maintain your PO2 levels. If you are str...
by Paul Barker
Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:33 am
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

Not yet but it’s a step change I’ll need it. Atm no longer talking just breathing as I need all the breath I can get and talking brings me down too far for too long, yet to recover from talking on phone yesterday evening.
by Paul Barker
Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:01 am
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

Pneumonia hitting me worse. Please don’t underestimate this germ. Keep clear of people.
by Paul Barker
Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:55 pm
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

I got that word on all my school reports. Paul needs to try harder!
by Paul Barker
Mon Mar 23, 2020 10:51 am
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

Top man! I bet you wer like me at school. Hook out a bogey and wave it under your mates nose! Before eating it and going numb numb!
by Paul Barker
Mon Mar 23, 2020 9:17 am
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

Also, I don’t gte the toilet roll greed. I have symptoms of Covid 19 and haven’t had to blow my nose once. What are all these herds of people buying up all the toilet paper planning to do with it? Light the fire? I mean fairs fair, women like to wipe their front bottom with it and I think its got so...
by Paul Barker
Mon Mar 23, 2020 9:14 am
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

I love you all, the Wesy’s the People’s republic of South Yorkshirites, the CleckHuddersFaxers, the Over the Penniners and the Lardydar Sothern Jessies. But please stop coming to Scarborough! Saturdya and Sundays walk down Valley Rd to the beech was like crossing Kings Road. I said to Diana stood 2 ...
by Paul Barker
Mon Mar 23, 2020 9:05 am
Forum: Assorted Stuff
Topic: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.
Replies: 174
Views: 2638

Re: Corona Virus Lock Down 'Rant' Thread.

That one makes better sense, something I was suspicious of in the article Will put up. ‘The human imune system cant respond to these virus forms because of the structure of the genome not human.’ Sounds like a load of old bollocks. If that were so wed all be dead by now. A lot of dubious articles ab...